A Zora, a Shadow, and Restoree
by Lefty the Right-Handed Shark
Summary: What started out as merely a challenge has evolved into an epic tale of drama, action, conflict and romance! Or maybe not... RutoDark Link. 'Tis completed.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer **I don't own the Legend of Zelda. I also don't own Restoree, Anne McCaffrey does. In fact, I don't even own a copy of the book. Heh…

**A/N **Just so you know, this story was written as a challenge by Ej Amber. It came about when I challenged her to write something as part of her collection of short stories, entitled "_Zelda's Hair Pin and other short stories_". Read it and you might understand more, though you probably won't.

**Challenge...**

Characters: Ruto; Dark Link.

Setting: Water Temple.

Objects: Zora's Sapphire; Water Medallion; Restoree by Anne McCaffrey (it's a book that everyone in the world should read).

**A Zora, a Shadow, and Restoree**

**1.**

There he was, finally she had found him after years of searching. Her fiancé stood in the center of the room in the Water Temple, next to a tall palm tree. "Strange," Princess Ruto whispered quietly, "I didn't know there was a palm tree growing in the temple." She shrugged it off, not caring.

Upon closer inspection, Ruto noticed that her beloved fiancé's head was buried deeply in a book, and so was unaware of her presence. She looked down to see the book was entitled, Restoree, and was by a person named Anne McCaffrey. That also puzzled her, as she had never heard of any scholars with that exotic name.

Fingering her Water Medallion, she called out to her fiancé, "Link, it's me, the woman you're going to marry." Her voice could not hold the excitement and so came out as a high pitched shout.

He looked up in surprise to see the Zora Princess standing in front of him. "Marry…?" he uttered in a daze. How could he be getting married to somebody he had never met in his life?

Ruto frowned, trying to figure out why he was so confused. "You know, because I gave you my Zora's Sapphire as a proposal," she explained. Did he forget about it in the five years they had been apart? And what did he do with the Zora's Sapphire anyway? Then it hit her, "You're not Link," she squealed, horrified. "For one thing, Link was not a shadow. And another, Link would have offered me that book to read by now."

Suddenly, Dark Link became more animated. "So, you want this book, do you?" he questioned with a slight smirk on his face.

Ruto frowned, sensing complete evil in him for not giving her that book she wanted so badly. "I'm a princess; you should give me that book right away," she whined, used to getting everything she wanted. Dark Link said nothing. "If you don't give me Restoree right away, I'll have you imprisoned for fraud."

Dark Link stayed silent, not bothered by Ruto's idle threats. After a few minutes of Ruto staring him down, however, he decided to say something. "I'll give you that book," he started with a cheeky gleam in his eyes, "If you marry me instead of Link." Oddly enough, he had some reasoning behind this. He thought that it would annoy the original Link if he stole Link's fiancé off him.

Ruto stood there, horrified. Eventually she recovered enough to slap him, sending the book flying out of his hands. Calmly, she went over to the book, picked it up, and left.

Dark Link rubbed his face, before smirking, "I'll take that as a yes then."

**A/N **I've corrected all the mistakes I could see, now. It was still written in 20 minutes, though, so don't be too harsh.

Crazymark.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **So after much deliberation and a great many pleas and threats (well, okay, not that many pleas, and no threats), I have thought of something to continue. The chapters, like the first, shouldn't be too long.

Also, congratulations to all those who spotted that the "Dark Ruto" at the end of the first chapter should have been "Dark Link". I bet some people aren't going to read this and make inquiries about where Dark Ruto has gone… Ah well.

**2.**

"Go away! I'm reading!" the Princess yelled out at one of the servants that were endlessly pestering her about trivial things that she was supposed to do because she was royalty. Like eating.

"But Miss Ruto-" the Zora started to protest, but stopped after receiving a cold, threatening, glare from her. He sighed and muttered, "Just what am I supposed to tell the King?" With that, he turned away and left.

Ruto was grumbling to herself about how her father was too lazy to care about her, but she presently fell silent she read on. Soon, she was totally engrossed in the book, and everything else was forgotten, like how she had told all the servants and body guards to stay away, and how the door to her room had been left open. But that was alright; there was no way an intruder would get in. And she was fully prepared if they did.

"Enjoying the book?"

Ruto flung the book up into the air in shock and screamed as loud as she could. Unfortunately for her, the book fell down and landed over her mouth, stopping much of the noise from coming out. Dark Link stepped out of the shadows, laughing riotously.

Finally, when Ruto had managed to remove the book from her face, she glared at the intruder. "How could you be so cruel?" she demanded with an anger only found in princesses. "I could have been killed! Suffocated by a book!" This, however, just made him laugh even more. "I command you to stop laughing!"

Dark Link's laughter subsided – after several minutes more – but his voice was still full to the brim with mirth as he conceded, "Very well, my lady." His face was trembling as he attempted to hold back the laughter again.

Once more, Ruto had this overwhelming feeling that she was in the presence of the most evil creature in the whole of Hyrule. "Laughing at me like I'm some common peasant Zora…" she grumbled to herself. He snickered again, but quickly silenced himself. "Well, what do you want with the beautiful princess before you?" she asked eventually.

The shadow cleared his throat as he prepared to speak, "I want to enquire about our wedding–"

Ruto perked up. "Wedding? _Our _wedding?"

Dark Link grinned. "Yes," he confirmed, "the wedding you agreed to by taking that book off of me. Do you not remember? You agreed to marry me by taking the book."

Her eyes were wide open as he said this. "I also slapped you!" she exclaimed incredulously. "And besides, the only way we can get engaged is if I present you with the Zora's Sapphire, and I already gave that away. So that proves, quite conclusively, that we cannot get married. Now, don't be too upset, you'll find somebody. Of course, they won't be as beautiful, witty, and desirable as me, but I'm sure you can survive with somebody only half as good as me. I am thrice as good as any other person, so being half as good as me is still an accomplishment. Maybe you could find Princess Zelda. Although she seems to have disappeared now, and… GAAH! What are you doing?" the last sentence came out muffled.

"Shutting you up, of course," he responded, keeping his hand over her mouth like the book had been earlier.

"_Shutting me up?_" she yelled though Dark Link's hand, so it still came out muffled. "Do you know who you're talking to?"

"Yes," he nodded with a grin, "yes I do. You're my fiancé. You need the Zora's Sapphire? Well, I'll get it for you."

"What? But Link has it!" she complained, but by the time she had done that, he had slipped off into the shadows, leaving her talking to nothing but the air. Nothing different about that, though.

**A/N** So, I came up with this while replying to a review saying I had no ideas of how to continue this. Ironic, huh?

Anyway, how was it? Was it as good as the first chapter? Worse? Better? What do I need to do to improve? Review please! Maybe it won't take as long to get the next chapter up as it did this one! Maybe…

Crazymark.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **Ah, the great third chapter! At this rate, I should have it finished in 20 years!

**3.**

"DO NOT DISTURB!" read the brand new sign outside of Princess Ruto's private quarters. And just to make sure, two armed guards were stationed outside. Armed as in they had arms, because Zora's hadn't quite got the grip of using weapons.

Despite the sign, Dark Link was determined to get passed in order to see the Princess. Unfortunately, there were no shadows for him to slip through. His renowned wit would have to suffice on this occasion.

"Get out of my way," he ordered the guards. The two Zora's looked at each other, shrugged, and stepped aside. Dark Link opened the door and stepped through.

Ruto was reading Restoree, as usual. She had been completely enthralled with it for nearly a month, now, and soon she would reach the fourth page. However, right now, Dark Link's very rude interruption had distracted her and she would have to read that part again. She glared up at him, demanding some form of explanation or apology, or some combination of both.

'He is the most pure form of evil, I can sense it,' she thought. 'He will stop at nothing to disrupt my private reading time. Evil, I tell you.'

But Dark Link was down on one knee. His fist was clenched around something, and he was looking calmly up at the Princess. "Princess Ruto of the Zora's, will you-"

"CAN YOU NOT READ!" she screamed out, startling him so much that he fell backwards.

Dark Link, sprawled across the floor, swore loudly. "I... The sign...?" he asked after he had regained his composure.

"Yes, the sign!" She stood up, holding the book way over her head, as if threatening to drop it on him if he did not provide a suitable answer. Or maybe even if he did.

"I read it, but... uh... It said 'Do not disturb', not 'Do not come in'. So I came in," he replied. He closed his eyes tightly to prepare for the book that was inevitably going to land on his head. Luckily, nothing had happened by the time he opened them again.

She was still glaring down at him, but she had placed the weapon down on her bed. Dark Link hoped it was because she had accepted his excuse, but in reality it was just because she didn't want to damage the book. "That's what it meant... But I suppose that you wouldn't understand; you don't have the amazing intelligence that I do. Okay, you're forgiven. This time," she stepped back away from him, and held out a hand to help him up. He took hold of it, and soon he was back on one knee.

"So what was it that you wanted?" she continued.

Link's shadow smirked and opened the hand that had been clenched shut. In it was the sparkling blue stone known as the Zora's Sapphire – the Spiritual Stone of Water. "I told you I would get it. Now we can get married."

This time it was Ruto's turn to fall back in shock. "But... I gave that to Link... What did you do to Link to get that? Did you hurt him? You hurt him, didn't you? No... No, Link's much too strong for you. You must have stolen it from him while he was sleeping... ADMIT IT! Oh my Goddesses! That's why he hasn't come back, isn't it? ISN'T IT?"

Dark Link was glaring by this point. "He is not too strong for me! You want to know how I got this? He had abandoned it in the Temple of Time! It's been there for five years! Link doesn't love you, and he's not coming back!"

"LIES, ALL LIES!" she screamed at him.

Dark Link was so frustrated that he had started reaching for his sword. Luckily, he managed to control himself in time. "Here. If you believe he's coming back, then you take it. You can give it to him again, next time you see him," he mumbled, placing the sapphire down on the book before walking out the door.

Back at the Water Temple, Dark Link was muttering to himself as he plotted. "We'll be married by the time Link wakes up... I'll make sure of that... It'll crush him so much that he won't have the will to live! I just wonder why he agreed to marry her in the first place..."

After dwelling on that thought for a few more moments, he cast it aside and started laughing. Evilly. The way all evil villains do when they've randomly announced their evil plan for anybody who is listening.

**A/N **So, enjoy, review, and most of all... No, that was it.

Crazymark.


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

A few months had passed since their last argument, and Dark Link had managed to convince Ruto that he wasn't the purest form of evil for not liking the actual Link, who she was still inexplicably infatuated with.

"I thought you'd be reading," Dark Link murmured as he came into the Princess' room. Obviously, these surprise visits inside her private room annoyed Ruto very much, but at least she had gotten used to it.

The Princess of the Zoras rolled her eyes, "I'm not always reading Restoree by Anne McCaffrey, you know. I have other interests."

This shocked the shadow like being very much. "You do?" he asked.

"Yes! Like..." she started as she tried to think of other things she liked to do. While she was thinking, her face twitched wildly, and her hands clenched tightly. She started staring past Dark Link as if he wasn't even there. He turned to see what she was looking at, and smirked. On a shelf next to the door was the very book that she had been trying to claim she wasn't obsessed with.

Ruto glared. "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything." He carried on smiling.

She, unsatisfied, accused him, "You were thinking it."

"Actually, I was wondering when you were going to give me that book back. After all, you did technically steal it from me."

The Zora Princess turned an odd shade of red – a shade that it was previously thought impossible for fish to turn. It was clear she was so embarrassed that she would agree to marry Dark Link to get rid of the guilt. Or so he reasoned.

"What? Did you call me a common thief? I'll have you executed for such insolences! GUARDS!" she fumed with anger.

"Oh great..." Dark Link muttered and slipped into the shadows where he could not be seen by the guards.

The guards ran in, stumbling over themselves, and looked around frantically to try and deduce what it was she wanted. "What is is, miss?" one of them asked hesitantly. "Is there something not to your liking?"

"Nothing!" she shouted quickly as her sight fell upon the most horrifying prospect ever. Dark Link was actually holding a sword to _her _book. If he wasn't careful, the sword could damage it, and she'd never be able to read it again; it would kill her if something so terrible happened. "Nothing at all! You're free to go! In fact, if I find out you're still guarding outside, I'll have you all beheaded!" The guards, surprised and agitated, turned away and left in a hurry.

"That's better," Dark Link whispered in fury. He had clearly lost his mind. "Now, we're going to get married. Understood?"

"Hah! How could I even think of getting married to a scoundrel like you? Somebody who could threaten to destroy a Princess' favourite book? And not just any old princess, mind you, but me, Princess Ruto! The most beautiful, intelligent, popular person in the whole of Hyrule! Indeed, if you weren't still holding your sword to that book, I'd call the guards back and have you executed myself. Indeed, you'd be a sorry man. WAIT! Why are you still holding your sword to the book?"

"Because, Princess, if you don't marry me, I will destroy it. Now, Princess Ruto, will you..." He paused suddenly, building up the courage. He knew he would always regret this, but he managed to choke out the words anyway, "marry me?" It had to be done.

Princess Ruto stayed silent.

"It's only because..." He paused a second time, but then resumed with noticeable distaste, "I love you."

"You do?" she squealed in delight. "I told you so, Prince Otur!"

Dark Link blinked and looked around. "Who's Prince Otur?"

"Uh... My brother," she explained slowly, as if she was talking to a child.

"But you don't have a brother. And I can't help but notice that 'Otur' is 'Ruto' backwards."

"Well, since you love me, I'll reveal my most embarrassing secret. He is imaginary!"

A single tear trickled out of Dark Link's eye because he needed to laugh so much. "Y-you mean, you had a debate with your imaginary brother whether I loved you or not?" He looked away to conceal his face.

"Yes... Are you all right?" she asked once she had noticed him turn away. A few moments passed without a response so she walked over to him, before halting. "Hold on, you're sword is still on my book," the Princess said. His sword hand was, in fact, trembling dangerously at first, but he managed to keep control of himself.

Dark Link nodded slowly, "You haven't agreed to marry me, yet."

Again, Ruto looked as if she was going to stay silent, but just as Dark Link was about to speak, she opened her mouth. "Yes, I will marry you," she agreed at last. Apparently she had forgotten about him holding a sword to her book. Quite how she could forget that in such a short time, he'd never know.

Her new fiancé sheathed his sword and smiled softly at her. "I must go now, but I'll be back soon." With that he disappeared back into the shadows. Back at the Water Temple, Dark Link burst into uncontrollable laughter, that could heard throughout the watery palace. Though the time spent with Ruto was enough to drive any person mad, at least he would be plenty amused.

**A/N **There's the fourth chapter, if you didn't realise. I'm not too happy with it, but on the plus side, I have the fifth chapter basically written in my head and just need to transfer it to the computer. You should expect that soon. Review, yah?

Crazymark.


	5. Chapter 5

**5.**

"Dark Link, I have called you here before me to give you a task," the ominous voice rang throughout the large, shadow-filled chamber, occupied by nobody but Dark Link, the mysterious speaker, and some keese. Brilliantly vibrant paintings adorned the wall, though coated in the shadows, each portraying a different perspective of the person who had just spoken. The room obviously housed an evil villain.

Dark Link, slightly bewildered, spoke up, "Pray explain, Lord Ganondorf."

"SILENCE, INSOLENT MORTAL!" The King of Evil screamed out. At the same time, a dark ball of energy erupted out of his trident and exploded into Dark Link's chest. A sick thud echoed back to Ganondorf's ears. "How dare you reveal my name in the presence of others?" he demanded, furiously.

The shadow picked himself up from the floor and looked around. "What do you mean? Others? The only others are those keese, Lord G-" he cut himself off, wary in case Ganondorf should attack again. Knowing his master like he did, that was a likely possibility.

"It's too late now, you've already said it. They know my name, now," he sulked.

"You don't want people saying you're name in case the keese hear it?" Dark Link asked slowly, making sure he understood.

"Yes. And thanks to you, they've heard it. Idiotic cur. If I didn't need you to do something for me, I'd have you executed for that. How do I know they're not plotting against me, huh? There could be a rebellion, now, because of what you've done! Oh, but don't you worry; the rebellion will be crushed like the King of Hyrule was before it! Do you hear me, keese? You will never bring me down!"

Ganondorf was beginning to sound a lot like Princess Ruto, Dark Link realised. Luckily for him, he was able to control his laughter; he was positive that if he couldn't, he'd soon end up rather dead. And that wouldn't help anybody. Except maybe the people he was intending to harm, kill, or emotionally torture. "Setting that aside, what was it you wanted me to do?"

"Kill Jabu Jabu," came the cruel response.

Dark Link considered it for a short time, before shaking his head, "Sorry, but if I do that, Ruto will surely realise I'm evil. And if that happens, she won't marry me and then I won't crush Link's spirit." This was all perfectly logically, of course.

Ganondorf was unimpressed. He loomed up out of his jewel encrusted throne and walked over to Dark Link. Each step was deliberate and measured, making sure Dark Link knew he had gone wrong somewhere. Well, it was pretty clear where he went wrong – he shouldn't have declined Ganondorf's 'offer'.

"I have been constantly disappointed by you," he said quietly but dangerously. "First you tell the keese my name, and then you disobey my orders. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're collaborating with them. Wait, it all makes sense! You want to steal the throne away from me, and you will rule over the land with the treacherous keese at your side. Heed me, Dark Link, they will strike against you, as they did to me."

Dark Link was stunned at this paranoid outburst. Ganondorf truly was insane, he realised. And not just the every day evil-dictator-insane, but positively and absolutely out of his mind! Still, they had a common goal – to destroy Link – and that was enough for him.

"I assure you, I am not attempting to take your throne, and I'm not collaborating with the keese about anything," he reasoned with his master.

Ganondorf laughed haughtily, "So, as I suspected, the rebellion is falling apart already. This is why I'm the King of Evil, and not you. You have no commitment, you see."

"Yes, my lord," he humoured. "Anyway, if I agree to do this, will you leave me to carry on with my diabolical plan?" He was tired of listening to Ganondorf, so decided to just go along with him and hope for the best.

"Plan? To revolt against me?"

"No, to marry Ruto and crush Link's spirits," he explained, frustrated.

"Oh yes, that plan. No, you won't be able to do that. Killing Jabu Jabu will freeze over Zora's Domain, trapping all the zoras in a state of perpetual death, including the Zora Princess. Now get out and do it, or I'll kill you myself!"

"I see... So all that time I've spent with Ruto, listening to her whining and complaining were for nothing? I could have just killed Jabu Jabu and be done with it?" He was ready to explode – he had humiliated himself to convince her to marry him! He had told her he loved her! Oh, how he felt sick. However, he decided it would be best if he heeded Ganondorf's warnings and left quickly.

From that day forward, Ganondorf kept a very close eye on the activity of the keese. They would not succeed in their fiendish plot if he had anything to do with it.

**A/N** And that was the fifth chapter, in just two days, no less! Was it good? Review or suffer the consequences!

Crazymark.


	6. Chapter 6

**6.**

At the first opportunity that arose, Dark Link entered the Zora's Fountain, which housed the great mass of lard that was Jabu Jabu. The plan was simple yet fiendishly clever. He was going to feed him a poisoned fish. After that, all he would have to do is distract Princess Ruto with plans for the wedding, or something, and nobody would even realise the overgrown salmon was sick. It'd die soon afterwards, and all he had to do is make sure everybody was in the water when the ice froze over.

For a while he had debated about disobeying Ganondorf's orders – and blaming it on the keese, of course – and continuing with his own plan. But then he realised, however crushed Link maybe to have his fiancé stolen from him, he would be infinitely more crushed if he his fiancé dead. And there would be less putting up with Ruto for an eternity, this way!

Right, so Dark Link already had the poison, but what he did not have was a fish. Instead, he had a fishing rod. Fishing had always looked simple, he reasoned, so he was sure he would catch a fish. All he would then need to do is coat it with the poison, and feed it to Jabu Jabu. He was a genius.

Without another thought, he made his way across to a small piece of land towards the back of the fountain, examined the water to see if there were any fish there (which there were), and cast the line of the fishing rod into the water. Along with the fishing rod. Irritated because of this unforeseen setback, Dark Link dived into the water and retrieved it. As he did so, he made a mental note to hold onto the pole, and only throw the hook into the water.

The next time he attempted it, he did manage to do it properly. All he had to do now was wait. So he waited. And waited. And waited. Until the sun was starting to set. Why had none of the fish jumped onto the hook? Dark Link could not answer this question. Perhaps fish were not stupid, and would not just jump on a hook because it was there. But he knew that was out of the question – his experience with Ruto had taught him that. He would just have to wait a bit longer.

A few hours later, once darkness had taken over the sky, Dark Link sighed. He was about to give up. He had clearly incorrectly assumed that fishing was easy.

"What are you doing?" a certain, high pitched, demanding, squeal of a voice gurgled through the water.

Dark Link jumped back. Ruto was swimming towards him at high speed, and there was nowhere to run to! Worst of all, she was actually reading Restoree_ while underwater!_ How she managed that without damaging the book, he'd never know. At this point, all he could do was dive into the water, but she was clearly a better swimmer than him. Plus, it sure would look suspicious if he tried to run away from the person he was supposed to be getting married to. He sighed and waited.

The Zora Princess climbed onto shore and waited patiently for him to explain himself.

"Fishing," he revealed.

"... I'M A FISH! YOU SICKEN ME!" she screamed in anger, deafening him at least for a few moments.

"I was going to give it to Lord Jabu Jabu, you crazy woman! I've seen you do it! Why is it okay for you and not for me?" Dark Link asked, bewildered at this sudden outburst. Which he probably shouldn't have been by now, but that was beside the point.

Ruto's expression suddenly softened, and a smile came over her face. "You would do that for me?"

Dark Link, unsure of how any of this could be perceived as him doing something for her, nodded slowly, hoping that would be the end of her insane screaming.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" she answered excitedly. "Here, use my secret store of fish which I sacrifice to Lord Jabu Jabu on a regular basis!"

With that, she pulled out a dead fish from... Well, it wasn't really clear where the fish appeared from, and Dark Link didn't particularly want to dwell on it. He took it quickly. "I'll go feed it now, shall I?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, of course! I'll come with you!" she was practically dancing up and down, now. Apparently, feeding their patron deity was a big thing to the Zoras. He couldn't understand why.

Anyway, her coming with him was a bad thing, as far as he could see. He still needed to add the poison before he could feed it to the giant monstrosity of a fish, and he couldn't let Ruto see him doing it. "Why don't you..." he started, searching for a way for her not to come, "go catch another fish to make up for the one you gave me?!"

Well, he was rather too enthusiastic about that question, but Ruto didn't notice. "That's a great idea! You're so smart!" she screeched. With that, she dived back into the water.

As quickly as he could, he made his way back to the platform that stood in front of Jabu Jabu, stood on it, dipped the fish he had been given into a bottle filled with a black liquid (with the words 'DANGER – DO NOT SERVE WITH FISH' marked on it), and held the fish out.

Jabu Jabu opened his mouth and sucked in, taking in the poison-coated fish. Along with everything else – Dark Link and bottle of poison included.

He had no idea how he would explain this little incident.

**A/N** I'm giving all of you one chance – review, or face the wrath of an angry Princess Ruto!

Crazymark.


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

After a year and a half and many an unspeakable event later, Lord Jabu Jabu was finally about to die, and nobody had even noticed he was ill, yet! All that time of distracting Princess Ruto constantly was almost worth it. Dark Link could almost cry with excitement.

He actually did cry, but not with excitement. Memories. So many repressed memories. First, his little trip inside the massive whale – and, what was even worse, the journey _out _of it – then the countless hours he had to spend humouring the princess as she simultaneously read and planned for the wedding. Of course, the reading had slowed her down considerably, which was why the date for the wedding had been set nearly a full two years after he had first proposed. Only Dark Link, Ganondorf and some keese knew they would never reach that date.

Aside from all that, the plan, the cursed plan, was at last going to be fulfilled, and he could be left in peace once more! At least until Link appeared back on the scene... he tried not to dwell on that.

"Darling, you just have to see this wedding dress!" the squealing voice of the hated Princess of the fishes invaded through his thoughts.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to see your wedding dress, _darling_," Dark Link replied, his voice filled with scorn. Fortunately, Ruto was so ridiculously deluded that she couldn't even spot the contempt. Din knew every other Zora in the domain had noticed it. Luckily, they all knew the Princess would never listen to them, and they were quite terrified of the Princess, too. Cowards.

"It's not my wedding dress, silly. I was thinking it would look great on our daughter!" she explained. Dark Link sighed, realising he would have to go look at it or...

"Wait! What did you say?" Dark Link was suddenly terrified as the words slowly sank in. Cowards indeed.

Ruto frowned, confused. "I said it would look great on our daughter... Is there something wrong?"

'Daughter! We don't have a daughter! We're not even married and you're planning the wedding of a daughter you haven't got! You're completely, utterly out of your mind!' was what Dark Link wanted to yell. Unfortunately, if he lost his cool now, the plan would be ruined. "Nothing. I just thought it was a bit early for that sort of thing..."

"Nonsense, it's never too early," she replied, rolling her eyes as if he was insane.

It was at this moment that a male, adult Zora ran up to the Princess, worry obvious on his face. "Princess Ruto! Lord Jabu Jabu is sick! We fear he may die!"

"No!" Ruto yelled out, suddenly pouncing on Dark Link. Had she worked out that he was involved? Was the plan ruined? Had all his hard work been for nothing? As she landed on him and sobbed into his shadowy clothes, he realised she was too stupid to work it out. How desperately he wanted to throw her into the water.

A cruel smile twisted its way across Dark Link's face. "I have an idea," he whispered reassuringly to her.

"What? Tell me! Why aren't you telling me? Don't you love me?" she cried, not stopping to allow him to answer. Normally, Dark Link would have been tempted to reach for his sword, but not now. He had a plan so clever and well thought out that it couldn't fail!

"If every single Zora gets in the water, maybe that will heal him."

Dark Link almost head-butted the wall.

"That's a brilliant idea, darling," his fiancé announced, clearly oblivious. "You," she pointed to the Zora that had informed them of the beast's condition. "Go round up every Zora and tell them to completely submerge themselves in the nearest body of water!"

"Yes, Your Highness," he wearily obeyed.

Dark Link nearly fainted because it was working so well, but he still managed to keep his wits about him. "I'll go douse the King in water," the shadow decided. Ruto nodded and ran off to find somewhere she could get in the water. This was it.

After gathering several buckets of water, Dark Link tipped five buckets over the King (because that was how much needed to fully cover him) and waited impatiently. The King didn't seem to notice. Either that or he enjoyed it.

One day, and sixty buckets of water later, Zora's Domain froze, Zoras, King and Princess included.

"I'm finally rid of her!" he yelled, tears forming in his eyes. Even in his wildest dreams he had never imagined being this happy. "I'm finally rid of her."

**A/N **Or is he? -insert evil laughter- Anyway, sorry for the long wait after the last update. Lets all blame college, why not? Expect about two more chapters before I put this story to sleep for good. Remember to review, my loyal (or possibly disloyal) readers, for I am Princess Ruto! Uh...

Crazymark.


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

So what had Dark Link been doing with his days since the completion of his dastardly plan (well, Ganon's dastardly plan, but nobody need know that)? The answer should be obvious! Sleeping, reading (not Restoree – somehow, Ruto still had that book, frozen in the ice somewhere), and generally relaxing like he had always done before the nightmare that was Ruto descended upon him.

According to the great King of Evil himself, Link had already awoken, but it should be a good while before he reached the Water Temple, so Dark Link wasn't bothered.

Anyway, it was on one of these days of sleeping when he was ferociously awakened by the most terrible of noises, which the only way to describe it was:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!"

"What was that?" he asked nobody in particular and, of course, received no response.

He knew that the Water Temple could be pretty scary, but to scream like that would require a shock far worse... Like if he were to see Ruto again. He laughed it off – the only way to see Ruto now would be to stare deep into the ice! It wasn't like anybody was stupid enough to free her... Or were they? An involuntary shudder ran through him.

- - -

"What are you doing here?" the boy-in-the-green-tunic-aka-the-Hero-of-Time-aka-Link-who-was-wielding-the-legendary-blade-of-evil's-bane-aka-the-Master-Sword exclaimed with horror – by which he definitely meant 'surprise' – after the initial scream-inducing shock of seeing the extremely-aggravating-and-let's-not-forget-to-mention-delusional-Princess-of-the-Zoras-aka-Ruto-the-daughter-of-the-huge-gelatinous-blob-aka-the-King-of-the-Zoras, though he hastily attempted to cover up his complete and utter disgust – and of course he meant 'surprise' this time as well.

"Oh... you... If I'm right... Link?! You're Link, aren't you? It's me, your fiancée, Ruto! Princess of the Zoras! I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago! You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting for these seven long years! (A lot more unnecessarily annoying ranting...)," she squealed, only pausing for a breath at the end. She really could rant, Link remembered. Luckily, he had the sense not to have listened to one word of it.

"I want to save them all!" she continued. "(Even more unnecessarily annoying ranting...) Follow me, quickly!"

With that, to Link's surprise, she floated off. Curiously, she seemed to be reading a book while she swam, though Link could not see what it was. After a few moments of complete stillness (even Navi-aka-the-point-out-the-obvious-fairy-guardian seemed to be stunned into silence) in order to digest what had just happened, Link swam up after her, only to find that she had disappeared.

- - -

Dark Link's eyes widened in surprise at how quickly his green counterpart had managed to navigate the Water Temple in order to get to the room Dark Link resided in. He drew his sword in anticipation, waiting. Soon bars would fall down across the exits; they would be trapped together. He was confident who would win.

A certain calm descended upon the large arena as he waited for the supposed Hero to discover his presence. The palm tree rested at his back, and soft sand lay under his feet. Any second now.

Without warning, the door behind him creaked open, before slamming shut. Almost immediately afterwards, the bars crashed down, trapping them in.

Dark Link nervously looked to see who had just entered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!"

Startled, Link (the Link clad in green) turned around.

"Could you please not screech? I'm getting near the end of Restoree!"

Yes, Dark Link, Link and Princess Ruto were trapped in a room together.

**A/N **You may think of this as a Christmas present for everybody who reads/has read and/or reviews/has reviewed! Unfortunately, I had no Christmassy paper to wrap it with...

Crazymark.


	9. Chapter 9

**9.**

"Wh-what... huh... wha- how?" Dark Link spluttered in the general direction of Princess Ruto. She, of course, had no idea what he was trying to say, so she looked at the real Link to see if he would translate.

"I think what the Dark-Me-who-is-currently-at-a-loss-for-words-aka-the-pure-evil-clone-of-me-aka-Ganon's-filthy-fiend is trying to say, is 'How did you escape from the ice?'." He looked at Dark Link. "It was Sheik-the-sheikah-with-the-horribly-conceived-name-and-the-surprisingly-feminine-voice, by the way."

"You could have just said Dark Link..." he glared, before turning back to stare at Ruto. "Why?"

Ruto turned back to the real Link. "What did he say?"

Dark Link narrowed his eyes. "I said, 'Why?'."

"By which he meant, 'Why did he free you?'," Link explained.

"Because he was captivated by my beauty, wits, riches, royalty, and general awesomeness, of course!" Both Links burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Nothing," Link lied, eventually.

However, at exactly the same time, Dark Link, "Look! Link's here now, so you should marry him!"

_Crash!_

Link had collapsed. "Never!" he cried. "By which I definitely meant 'Uh... Why don't you marry Dark Link instead?'!"

"You both proposed to me!" Ruto yelled, utterly confused.

"You proposed to her?"

"I thought it would annoy you. I see I was wrong," Dark Link revealed his plans to everybody. "Then Ganondorf ordered me to freeze her... And the rest of Zora's Domain. I did it. But now she's back!"

Link nodded sympathetically, "I'm sorry. It'll be okay. We can freeze her again after this is all over."

Ruto was staring at them. She was weighing up the options. "Hm," she said at last, "do I marry the one who mysteriously disappeared for seven years on the day we got engaged, or do I marry the one who just admitted to only proposing to annoy the first one and then tried to kill me?"

"It's a hard choice, Princess," Dark Link interrupted. "But remember, you stole my book! Therefore, you can't marry me! I refuse! Thief!"

"But I don't deserve you, Ruto!" Link cried out.

Dark Link turned to Link. "Look, nobody deserves being married to her for an eternity."

The Princess of the Zoras looked at both them. "You're just scared."

"Yes, we're scared. We're terrified," Link confirmed.

A silence descended upon the room. Strangely, at the very same time (by sheer coincidence, of course), both the warriors knew what to do. Link stared at Dark Link, and Dark Link stared back. Princess Ruto stared at Restoree. ...They were sizing each other up (which, quite frankly, was completely unnecessary considering they were exactly the same as each other).

"We'll have a duel," Link announced.

"The loser has to marry Ruto," Dark Link continued.

"Hookshots at dawn?" Ruto asked.

They looked at her, eyebrows raised. "No... Swords at, uh, now," Link said. She looked dejected. "But think of it this way: we're battling for your love!" Technically, they were battling to escape her love.

"All right... But I did want hookshots at dawn," she sighed wistfully.

Ignoring her, the warriors turned back to each other, drawing their swords – Link's glowing white, the epitome of all things good, Dark Link's an inky black, because it matched his clothes. Their eyes narrowed. It was time for the ultimate battle of warriors...

"WAIT!" screeched the Princess. "I've nearly finished Restoree! You can't go starting until I've finished it!"

Dark Link glared at her, infuriated. "Why don't you finish it while we fight?" he suggested. She nodded. And so they fought.

Steel clashed against steel, eyes scanned each other for weakness, eyes scanned books for words, and they danced (except Ruto who just read. Oh, and Link and Dark Link didn't actually dance – they were too busy fighting).

After many hours of intense fighting, Link slipped to the floor. Not stopping to catch a breath, Dark Link raced forwards, held Link's sword hand down so he could not fight back and pressed his own sword against the Hero of Time's neck.

"I... I can't believe it..." he gasped gleefully. "I'm at last going to be free of-"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'VE FINISHED IT!"

Dark Link swirled round, surprised. Princess Ruto was just closing her book (for what seemed like the first time in two years). She had finished Restoree (by Anne McCaffrey).

Link swept his legs into Dark Link's. He fell back, dropping his sword as he did so. Link kicked it out of reach and pinned his rival down with the Master Sword.

Ruto ran over. "Link! You beat him! That means... Wait, that means I'm getting married to Dark Link, doesn't it?"

"Yes, Ruto."

"Never!" he cried defiantly. "Please, Link, please! Finish me off! I wasn't that evil, was I?"

Ruto grinned and clung onto him. "Don't be silly, darling. Look, if you're still worried about Restoree, I'll give it back to you. I've read it!" The book was forced into his sword hand. Dark Link cried; he was just the shadow of the man he used to be (and also Link).

The bars slid open, signifying his defeat. "Take his sword, will you? He won't be needing that any longer," she barked at Link.

He shrugged and obeyed her orders, like any sensible person valuing their sanity would. Dark Link lay in a heap beside him, a broken man.

"You know what I just decided?" the fish woman asked. "We will get married as soon as I've finished helping Link!"

He curled into a ball, still crying. Restoree slipped out of his hands onto the floor. Ruto grinned, oblivious.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

**Finis**

**A/N **And that, readers, was the conclusion of the epic, (un)true story of Dark Link's tragic downfall! Feel free to show your adoration/hatred in the form of a review!

Crazymark.


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